In some ways I consider myself lucky that at 8 years old, LatteGirl still believes in Santa Claus.  At least for one more year we can keep this charade alive.  Reality and real life will seep in soon enough and take away some of her childhood innocense, and anything that can beat that back for just a little bit longer is fine with me.  

She is already feeling a bit conflicted with messages from both school and Sunday school, being told the Christian mythology that Jesus is the “reason for the season.” (Please, stop the e-mails, I am not condemning any religion, but the fact is that the celebration of Jesus’ birth celebration was assigned to conincide with the Yule season.  And besides, it isn’ t the point).  Like many people, the holiday season this year will be cut back a bit as we tighten our belts and deal with economic uncertainty.  But how do you explain and rationalize that with a child that believes in Santa Claus?

We have told her (as we have over the past couple of years) that the more expensive the gifts she asks for, the fewer in number she will actually receive.  However, in the past, she just accepted this at face value.  Now however, we have to balance reasoning and questioning.  Why?  Santa doesn’t “buy” gifts, he “makes” them, so why does cost matter?  

The expense has also put a crimp in one other tradition I had started with her a few years back, where I get her to pick out at the store, one gift that she would “really, really, really” like to have, purchase that gift, and then she puts it into the Toys for Tots collection bin.  It serves at a reminder to be kind to those that are less fortunate, and also (I hope) reminds that giving isn’t just about giving up what you don’t want anymore.  (After all it is much easier to give a toy that she doesn’t actually want or like, but I try to stress to her if she would like it, so would some other child that perhaps wouldn’t get such a nice gift).   This of course is not as easy since her taste has gotten a bit more expensive.  Sure, I would love to buy a Wii a donate it, but I just don’t have that kind of money to throw around.  Also, now she queries why Santa give less to poor children.

How do you do it?  How do you instill good values, teach about being good to others, teach understanding of economic issues, stay on budget, and still keep it so that it doesn’t completely destroy the magic?  I am open to suggestions.

TheWife informed me that burying my head in the sand was not going to make the problem go away.  On the one hand, I know she is right, but on the other…well, it just kills me to say it… I mean I don’t understand… She is only 7 (yes, honey I know, 7 and 3/4)… how am I supposed to reconcile and admit my failures as a parent and come to terms with the fact that my sweet little princess is an addict.

I don’t know where she picked up her need for “K” (although to confuse matters more, some know it by another terms starting with “C”) and how she got hooked.  None of the early warning signs were there, she continues to do well in school and her behavior hasn’t changed. I know all of her friends, as well as their parents.  They are all good people.  So where did this come from.  The only real clue  that something was wrong, was her eating habits.  She has always been a fussy eater, and getting her to try new things has always been a raging battle… until recently.  Suddenly she is willing to try some new things, and has expanded her food lineup, but things turn suddenly different when she doesn’t have her”fix” readily available.

I don’t even know where to turn.  They don’t have any programs for this (that I know of), and even if they did, I somehow doubt they would be equipped to deal with somebody so young.  TheWife has confronted her on the issue, and she continues to stubbornly deny even having a problem (and is even cavalier about her using).  I just don’t get it, how… How… HOW could my sweet little one be hooked on… Ketchup?

I purchases a camera today (for the record it is a Canon Powershot S3 IS, but I will review that another time). So what is the big deal about that right? I mean hundreds if not thousands of people buy a new digital camera every day, so why should anybody care? Well, I am glad you asked that. Pull up a chair and let me tell you what it took for me to lay out the money for a camera this time.

Now I am an admitted gadget freak, mostly computers, but if it is an electronic gadget, I am interested. One area that I have had a bit of a hard time in this area is with digital photography. When it comes to computers, PDAs, phones, I have always been quick to lay down good money to be on the front edge of technology, though admittedly that has slowed a bit since LatteGirl was born, and now I try to be a bit more economical, and try to choose what will give me the most bang for my buck. In other words, be good enough to satisfy me in the short term, but also be good enough at least in the mid-term that I am not already itching to replace it quickly.

I have done well in this department with laptops, building my own desktop computers, and fortunately rarely have ever had to live with a phone for more than two years, so even a mistake was relatively short lived. But with cameras, I seemed to fail in this respect. Sure, I would love to go out and buy a Canon Rebel XTi or Nikon D2x. But first of all, I don’t have the kind of time or attention span necessary to learn how to use on of these cameras well enough to justify the expense. But on the other hand, I have been quite dissatisfied with my past couple of purchases (Kodak Z series), so I knew I had some work to do. I started to do my research, and by the time I finally settled on the camera I wanted, a year had passed. That’s right a full year. 12 months, 52 weeks. To pick out a camera. Some call that kind of research and time to make a decision insane (That would be TheWife), but I call it smart. But fortunately, much of what I learned can be boiled down and some shortcuts taken to finding what is right for you without having to spend so much time.

Again, much of this is intended with certain factors in mind, so if you don’t fit into this criteria, it may affect your choices. The criteria I have set forth here. 1. This is geared for parents. I say this because as a parent (whether you know it or not yet), you are going to have some difficult shots that you are going to try and take. Xmas pageants, recitals, sporting events, etc. Many times, no matter how early you think you are for an event, you will find there are other parents that have gotten there even earlier, thus leaving you a good distance away from your child that you want to photograph. Throw in some lousy auditorium or gymnasium lighting, and you now know what I mean by challenging. 2. You are at least somewhat budget conscience. If you wouldn’t think anything of dropping $600 or more on the latest and greatest. More power to you. I don’t, and I know many other parents that don’t have, or wouldn’t consider that kind of outlay for a camera. This is for those people, not the person that buys the model right off the floor of the CES Floor in Vegas (Consumer Electronics Show).

Megapixels.  Back in the day, when digital camera were sporting resolutions like, VGA, 1.3 Mega Pixels or 2 Mega Pixels, the amount of pixels really mattered.  You could find a 1.3 MP camera that would take a nice picture, but if you wanted a print that was bigger than 4×6  or you took pictures with the intention of zooming in and cropping a lot, you were simply out of luck. Today you can find cameras at the consumer level as high as 12 MP.  Unless you plan on making a Warhol like mural of your child, the size of your living room wall  you really do not need a 12 MP camera.  Especially if you are going to forgo other important features for it.

Zoom.  When you were out on the town with your friends and wanted a little camera you could slip into your blazer, leather jacket or purse and not be obtrusive, then those super slim camera were perfectly adequate for mediocre pictures taken at the bar, nightclub, etc.  After all, many times, you were probably had one or two too many drinks by the time the camera came out to take a decent picture anyway.  This won’t cut it when you are trying to capture those once in a lifetime moments.  The biggest problem with these small cameras is the fact that if you have one when you find yourself on the wrong side or too far back in a poorly lit auditorium or gymnasium,  you will be cursing that puny little 3x optical zoom.  Quick note for those that don’t already know this… forget about the “digital zoom” that you camera brags about having.  It is a worthless measure. In short digital zoom works by enlarging a certain part of a picture to simulate optical zoom, to the detriment of clarity).

The answer, is the class of cameras that are known as “Super Zoom Cameras.” These cameras generally sport Zooms of 8, 10 or 12 times optical zoom. The side benefit of this is also that because of the need for clarity, camera makers generally put better glass (lenses) in their  Super Zooms than they do in their regular consumer cameras.  This will enable you to get a nice shot of your child, and not just a shot of 1/2 the class in a picture where you have to point out to people, “see, right there… no over to the right, that is little Suzy over there.”  When in doubt, sacrifice pixels for zoom.

Other Factors:  These qualify as things that are important to me, but are more subjective and a matter of personal taste.  Zoom camera are more prone to “noise” (wavy lines) when zoomed out than a normal picture.  Most camera have some sort of image stabilization to compensate for this.  They generally break down into two types, Optical Image Stabilization (OIS) and Digital Image Stabilization(DIS).  OIS is far superior and worth it for better pictures… for me.  Fuji sells a line of super zooms with NO Image Stabilization at all, going rather with its “face detection” technology, and they sell very well.  So some people obviously don’t find this as important as I do, but most experts will tell you to go with OIS whenever possible.  The other thing is Scene Modes.  Do you know a lot about Aperature Priority, Shutter Priority, etc?  No?  Me neither.  That is why I depend on a camera that has a lot of presets for various settings.  The basic “general” setting is excellent for mediocre or basic pictures, but when I want to capture a shot at a soccer game, or some other specific event, I want to be able to turn to a setting that gives me the best chance of getting the shot I want, and without having to know how to configure the camera.  Scene Modes save you from having to know how to set up a camera for action, landscapes, night shots, etc.  The more scene modes, the more specific setting you are ready to shoot.  Again not a deal breaker if the camera doesn’t have many scene modes (or any) but it certainly will help.

 Some things you can probably ignore:  Certainly Digital or “total” Zoom should be ignored, as I already pointed out, they are useless measures.  However, there are some other “important” measures according to many reviewers, that really aren’t a big deal to the average user.  The ability to shoot in RAW mode.  Most consumer camera do not shoot in raw mode, but for some reason reviewers are fixated on this feature that is usually held out for professionals.  In order to use RAW format, you generally need to use a program such as Photoshop CS.  If you have $700 to lay out on Photoshop however, you are probably not reading this looking for a camera.  The other feature is an articulating LCD (the LCD panel swivels around so you can see it at various angles).  This is certainly a nice thing to have if the camera happens to have one (my new Canon does), but lets be honest, how often do you need this feature?  To take a picture of yourself?  To take a picture by holding the camera over your head in a crowd?  Do you really think you will do that often enough to make this a “must have” on your camera.

Finding your camera.  Ok, so now you know what you like and don’t like.  You have an idea of what kind of camera you want.  How do you go about finding the best value for your dollar?  Well, for me, the answer came in the way of a year old copy of PC Magazine that I had laying around.  A year ago, the camera I ultimately selected had just come out.  The only knock against the camera (and the primary reason, I would not have bought it a year ago) was the price.  With a retail tag around $500 it was a lot more than I really cared to spend.  Fast forward a year, the S3 has been replaced with the S5.  6 Megapixels have given way to 8 – 12 MP camera.  That top of the line camera was now forgotten.  In the meantime, plenty of new Super Zooms have come out at lower prices (for this example I will uses Canons new SX100).  At first glance the new low priced super zooms seemed like a great deal.  The SX100 was retailing at $249, the same price I was able find the S3 selling at.  It also had more mega pixels.  But in a quick comparison, it quickly became obvious that in order to get the price down there with the higher pixel count, that lots of features had to be removed.  In this case, last years “winner” didn’t change, and more than met my needs, but at a far more friendly price.  Sometimes last years model, if you are careful is still better than this years new model.  Now granted, you may not have a year old copy of a magazine laying around (certainly if TheWife had her way, I wouldn’t), but thanks to the Internet, most of these reviews are still around to be perused.  Just bypass the latest editions for those 6 or 12 months ago, and you can find a camera that “back then” would probably be too much money, but now fits inside your budget.

One word of caution using this method though.  There is a point of diminishing returns for the camera manufacturers, that when the camera crosses over from profitable to no longer worth their time.  At that point, the price will not drop any lower, and instead the camera will just disappear.  In other words, no matter how long you wait, you will not find a new Canon Rebel XTi for $100.  No matter how long you wait.

And of course, one final note.  I have given a lot of credit and used the name Canon here quite a bit.  But that is predominantly because that is the camera that I recently purchased.  This is in no way meant to imply that I recommend Canon over any other particular camera.  Olympus, Nikon, Panasonic, Fuji and others all certainly have their benefits and highlights, and if the timing was different, I may have gone a different route.  The only way I was almost certain I wasn’t going again, was back to Kodak, which has disappointed me twice in a row.

One thing that is quite helpful in some regards, but makes me uneasy at times is when people ask what they should get LatteGirl for Christmas.  On the one hand I am appreciative that they ask, because unlike some people (*cough* mother-in-law *cough*) who have a tendency to buy things that drive me insane.  On the other hand, it makes me a bit uncomfortable trying to answer it properly, without feeling stupid.

How do you properly answer that?  Do you provide a list of items for them to choose from?  And if so, how do you go about finding out what they decide to do?  I mean, how many “lists” can you provide with distinctly different items to avoid overlap?  And then what about items you want to make sure you want to get, you need to know what they are going to do, so you can plan accordingly.  If you go the other way and tell them an item, how do you decide what to tell them?  I don’t want to push somebody into a position for a gift that is more expensive than they intended to spend.

Something so simple, and in actuality probably quite helpful, so it prevents having to return items, or having LatteGirl disappointed when somebody gave her a third copy of the same toy that year, on the other hand, and yet one that drives me insane in coordinating.  How do you handle your gift coordination?

When I was young, when November came around, I knew it was time to make, “the list.”  Between my birthday and  Christmas, I  could make one long list of what I wanted for my birthday and what I wanted for Christmas at one time, and hope that whatever I didn’t get for one, I got for the other.

First my mother got this list, and later of course TheWife.  It changed though once we bought the house.  With our birthdays only 12 days apart (TheWife insists I insert here that it is 5 years and 12 days difference), we started buying joint “gifts” that were really more about things we wanted for the house.

Then when LatteGirl was born it became “sort of” about me again.  I wanted an exercise stroller, I wanted a new quieter monitor (you get the idea, right?)

Now, “the list” is tough.  I guess in a way, I am lucky.  I don’t “want” anything.  Oh, there are things I wouldn’t mind buying for myself (The new Red Flash Zune, or maybe and Xbox 360), but nothing I would expect anybody to buy for me as a gift.  And even those things that I wouldn’t mind, I would just as soon at this point buy something new for LatteGirl.

So now TheWife (and yes even my mother still) get annoyed that every year, they ask me what I want, and I say either “nothing” or “I dunno.”  But really I don’t.  However, this year all I would like is something that I can tell them to keep from them getting so annoyed.

So, how about you, how (if at all) has your “wish lists” for birthdays, holidays, etc. changed over the years.  Or has it changed at all?

The Perfect Storm of Halloween Candy.  LatteGirl and TheWife made their way over to LatteGirl’s school for “Trick or Trunk”  (For those not familiar Trick or Trunk is sort of like an abbreviated trick or treat game.  Parents from the school all park in the parking lot, standing by their trunks (get it?) and the kids go Trick or Treating from car to car.  The good thing about this is that basically you (presumably) can trust all the candy that your kids get, and (yeah right) there is no need to go door to door trick or treating (this second part is a joke).  The bad thing is that this provides huges amounts of candy for the kids (that isn’t so bad), with them having to cover minimal ground to get it(this is where the problem exists).

So now LatteGirl had met up with her BFF from school and they “work the parking lot” together for candy as the mother’s look on.  (Don’t worry where I am, we will get to that in a minute.)  Afterwards the girls then want to “start” trick or treating, so the mother’s decide to allow the girls to hit any house along the way back from school to the BFF’s house.  That as it turns out is 1/2 mile away.  So by the time they finished they had not one but two large bags EACH, brimming with candy.

Meanwhile back on the home front, I sat patiently awaiting trick or treaters.  This has been a dying tradition on my block.  Unfortunately, there are far too many people on my block that don’t participate.  Thus leaving the block rather dark.  So the kids come less and less.  This year looked to be starting out differently, as we got about 10 kids within the first 1/2 after I got home from work.  But then… nothing.  It was like they all disappeared.  I could hear kids several blocks away.  I could see them walking down the main street.  But very few ventured our way again the rest of the night.  The few that did were handsomely rewarded with huge amounts of candy.  But even with that, I was left with quite a bit.

After sorting through the stuff that nobody like, TheWife and I each taking a plastic pumpkin full of candy to work, each we still have more candy than (I think) any one location (short of a candy store) should have at any one time.  So, what do you do with your “overflow?”

I am the proud owner of a ZUNE  (more on that soon).  However, when I purchased a Digital Audio Player (DAP) for TheWife, Zune did not yet offer a flash based player, the style she wanted for workouts and running.  So much to my chagrin, a swallowed hard and bought her an iPod Nano.

Here we are, a year later, and now thanks to my neice having gotten an iPod from her father (my brother in law) last year, LatteGirl has begun hinting that she would like a music player of her own.  Since LatteGirl and I have been doing walks on the days that TheWife has been doing her 5K runs, this has only increased her desires to have the ability to listen to music like mommy does during her runs.

Which brings me to the two part dilemma.  First, TheWife and I are both feel unsure about giving a 7 year old(and a half… sorry honey) a DAP of her own.  TheWife feels it is too indulgent at that age, I am more willing to give into it, so long as she sticks with over the head style headphones and not earbuds.  So question one, how old is old enough for such a thing?  And if it is OK, do we have to start her out with one of those cheesy kid style ones (i.e. Disney Tunes) or do we just go with a normal DAP?

Assuming we go with a normal DAP, that presents dilema number 2.  Most of the music thus far that has been purchased for LatteGirl was done on TheWife’s account… meaning the ever evil iTunes. Sure we can get around that by burning the songs to disk and then ripping them back onto the computer.  And next month (November) Zune will now be offering a Flash based DAP as well.  My inclination of course is to stay away from anything and everything Apple.  But I was the one that bought the Nano for TheWife to begin with, so it is really my fault she is “stuck” with it.  So, do I go with my heart and pick a ZUNE or do I take the easy way out and go the iPod route?  (Just another reason why DRM sucks)

Over at Notes from the Trenches (and technically via Parenting before that), there were a question and an intersting issue raised.  Being the windbag that I am on some issues, I thought it better to post a response that fill comments.  Plus I wanted to see what some others thought as well.

Now the first, is the question of is there an age limit for Trick or Treating?  Personally I don’t hold it against older kids to go trick or treating.  I do sort of have my own personal “rules” on it though.  I will usually indulge them less (one piece of candy whereas I tend to give the little ones a bit more since they will not be walking as much, and hence not getting to as many houses), and secondly, I “expect” a costume.  Walking around in your street clothes and carrying a pillow case doesn’t cut it for me.  If you want the spoils of the holiday, you have to at least make an effort.  So do you have an age limit for trick-or-treaters?

The second point was raised, as sort of an aside where Chris ranted “about parents who let their kids run wild on Halloween night with no supervision.”  Now this one I really have to admit struck me as odd.  I guess because my thinking is  virtually opposite.  In a way, I feel sorry for kids today.  When I was a wee lad (granted this was quite some time ago), I think I was six the last time my mother took “the walk” with me to go trick or treating.  After that, she decided it was entirely too much walking, and I was off on my own to go trick or treating from the time I got out of school until dinnertime, and then (when I was a bit older) again for another couple of hours after dinner.

Today, it is so much different.  Going trick ‘o treating after school is a virtually fruitless endevour (at least around these parts) as most people are in work, and even half (or more) of the kids are in some sort of aftercare program.  So the time to gather goodies has become relegated to an after dinner event.  And then after a long day of work, preparing dinner, etc.  a parent has to then waltz their kid around the neighborhood, and they more often (except for the littlest of frolickers) worn out and tired first.  Thus limiting how much time the child has to “make the rounds”

Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand WHY parents do it.  I do it as well.  We worked out a bit of a plan, where TheWife takes LatteGirl out first, and I stay at home to give out the candy, and then we switch roles, this ensures we are home for those looking for candy, while allowing LatteGirl to get her fill of Halloween fun without one of us getting too worn out to continue.  But I still feel sad that I don’t feel safe to let her just traipse around the neighborhood on her own.  And if you live in an area where you feel comfortable with that sort of arrangement, I must admit, I am a bit jealous.  Halloween is about candy, but it is also about a bit of mischeif, mindless frolicking about.  And these days, that is completely lost.

So despite what I have written recently, we really did have a decent vacation.  OK, I had a decent vacation.  TheWife had a fun time.  LatteGirl, however had an all out blast.

Last Year, we enjoyed going to this place, but one of the few problems we had was LatteGirl and her being shy.  It was like she was attached to our hips the entire time.  She wasn’t interested in playing with or getting to know the other children at the resort, and we had to keep her “entertained” the entire time.

We were detemined to try and help her get past this when we went on vacation this year.  We planned, we schemed, we had everything all set and agreed upon so she couldn’t play one parent against the other.  We accounted for every possible scenario.  Or so we thought.  There was one situation we had not taken into consideration, and it took us by surprise.

As it turns out, she was ready to spread her wings and start embarking on her own adventures.  No prodding necessary.  As a matter of fact, we had to strain a bit to reign her in, as she started to show some signs that she was actually getting annoyed and felt we were “cramping her style” and wanted us to just “leave her be.”  I had to actually restrain (no not physically) and occupy TheWife at times to keep her from constantly “checking up” on LatteGirl.  TheWife wanted LatteGirl to find some friends and be more social, but she was not prepared for this and it showed.  (OK, full disclosure.  I am not sure I am(was) ready for this either, but I was certainly better prepared for what we encounted than TheWife was.)

Suddenly, the little girl that wanted us to play games with her, and swim with her, and had to have us within an arm’s reach, no longer cared to have us around.  She did crafts with one set of friends.  Played sports with another.  Karaoke made her one of the most popular kids on the resort as everybody wanted to borrow her High School Musical Karaoke Disc, and at the evening “dances” the only time she wanted to know we were there was when she needed something to drink.  Heck there was one evening when we were tired, and she told us we could go “home” (back to our room), and she would “see us later.”  No, we didn’t allow that… not at 7 (TheWife says not for a few more years, I say not for another 20 years)

So in the end as the old adage goes, be careful of what you wish for… you just might get it.  And if it involves your child growing up… you might get it far sooner than you hoped for.

OK, so I have seen it on sitcoms before, and I guess the best comedy is based on real life and all that, but never did I ever believe it would happen.  But it did.  Just let me say if you have money in Provident Bank, you may wish to rethink that choice, because today in the mail, LatteGirl (age 7 for those that haven’t been playing along) received a “Pre-Qualified offer” for a credit card.

Now to be honest, I am not sure what troubles me more.  The fact that she got a credit card offer.  Or that they offered her a better rate than I currently have on my own cards.

Now to doubled up on my “Punk’d”edness, as I was joking with TheWife about how they gave a 7 year old a credit card, LatteGirl walks up and asks me, “Dad what do you do for money?”  I tell her that I thought she already knew that I work as a Computer Programmer, to which she replies, “I just wanted to make sure, because if you told jokes, I don’t think we’d have enough money to go to Disney World”

She is obviously feeling far more fearless now that her birthday present season is behind her.

Moon Shoes are a sudden craze that has been slowly making its way into the toy scene. Immediately upon seeing the ad from Hart Toys (including the picture shown here), I immediately knew this was a bad idea.

Though carefully worded to avoid “false” claims, the advertisement was clearly misleading, as way the high flying picture that was shown.

But LatteGirl persisted.  She wanted them.  And to top it off she wanted to use the money that she had saved as part of her allowance that we allow her to spend “any way she wants” to do it.

I tried talking her out of it, I even tried explaining (though I suspect she wasn’t listening at this point) that not everything you see in an ad is exactly true.  But she continued on with the whole “I am supposed to be able to buy what I want if I save this money.”  So, rather than “forbidding” her from buying them, I opted to teach her a lesson in advertising and allowed her to make her own decision and purchase the shoes.

Fast forward a couple of weeks later the shoes arrive.  Huge Plastic Shoe Box sized “boots” with elastic bands that connect to a shoe that you strap to your feet.  She excitedly waited as I put them together, put them on her feet, and allowed her to jump.

Clunk… Clunk… Clunk.

She sounded like an elephant bounding around the deck.  Struggling to get any height out of this heavy plastic boots, and then having to strain to keep her balance as the bands wobbled back to a standstill.  They were (no surprise here) a great disappointment to her, and for me, even worse than I had imagined.  Your child binds themselves to these shoes with hard nylon velcro that is fairly secure.  Possibly too secure.  I could see if a fall happened the wrong way an ankle being broken in them.

She queried me as to why they “weren’t working” since the ad said she would get “50% more height in her jumps” and I pointed out that her jumps probably were 50% higher since she was starting about 5″ higher off the ground (the height of the shoe).  She said that wasn’t “fair” and that she felt like she was “lied to.”  Naturally, at that point I once again tried to explain to her that advertising is designed to sell a product, and that you have to really think about what they are saying.

So now I have a couple of plastic shoes sitting in my shed, which who knows if they will ever see the bottom of her feet again (I am doubting it), she is out $24 that she worked hard to save, and of course she is quite disappointed.

When I allowed her to buy them, I though it was a good lesson to teach her.  Now I just feel like an awful dad for not protecting her from the evils of marketing.  (But I guess, I will just have to hope that the lesson “took”)

Imagine having to walk into the fire station, with your 2-1/2 year old toddler in tow, looking for assistance, because the young lad got a trainer toilet seat stuck on his head!

The only benefit I can see from such humiliating circumstances, is the ability to continue to embarrass your child for years to come with the retelling of the story. But I’m not sure I would have had that much forethought as I have to somehow explain just HOW my son got his head stuck in a toilet seat.

Is it wrong to assume that if she is a blogger, that immediately upon returning home, you saw one of those, “I’m the worst mother ever…” posts? While children and accidents happen, the can really sometime take an emotional, and character assassinating toll on your ego.

I got a secret.  I am not as much of a spend thrift as I like to think I am.  Oh sure, I wait for sales.  I use coupons.  I debate the merits of name brands versus generics and store brands.  But somewhere deep down, a shopper is lurking and looking to get out.

Only thing is… it is rarely if ever for myself.  We have a frequent… shall we say disagreement between TheWife and I about the state and items in my wardrobe.  It generally centers around, the tattered state of my clothing, or things that I fight too hard to hold on to, that haven’t seen the light of “in style” for quite some time.  These disagreements usually end one of two ways.  Either, I win, with the final, “well if you don’t like it, then don’t wear it” which will send her off in a frustrated huff, or she will retaliate with the final trump card, “We will not be seen with you in public looking like that” which then necessitates a shopping trip.

But, that really only applies to me.  When I start to shop for my daughter, I am like the proverbial kid in the candy store.  I want to buy everything.  Now some of this is the slight benefit of having only one child, because I definitely could not afford to be like this with two (or more).  A simple task to buy a single item, never seems to work out that way.

Today is an excellent example.  I knew about a bathing suit that LatteGirl really wanted to get.  We had been pondering it, but it is a Disney exclusive, and really a bit too expensive at normal retain.  But it went on sale, and so I got the blessing by TheWife to go ahead and purchase it.  A single bathing suit.  Marked down from $24.95 to a much more respectable $12.95.  Great.

When I was done.  I had spent well in excess of $100.  Because, well since I am getting the bathing suit,  I should get her the matching terry pullover for when we go on vacation.  Oh, and here is the matching beach towel. Well I know she will like that.  Oh, Oh, and what about when we go to the beach?  Here are the matching water shoes.  And she is getting bigger now, and should be more responsible for her own stuff, so I can get this beach bag, so that she can carry her own water shoes and towel.  But she can’t wear her water shoes off of the sand, so I should get the flip flops too.  And on and on it goes.

And this isn’t the first (and probably won’t be the last) time I do it.  I feel powerless against the need to accessorize and buy all the matching items.  So long as it is for my little princess. 

I guess the shopper was always in there… It just took a little girl to bring it out of me.

I have been playing a lot of soccer with LatteGirl over the past couple of weeks, and it has shown in her play.  She kicks harder now, is starting to learn to aim her shots, and is now far more aggressive going after the ball.

Let me back up a moment.  Last year, a girl on the team that LatteGirl was playing fell while three or four kids were going after the ball, in the ensuing melee the girl got (quite accidentally kicked in the head).  Now the mother freaks out (she is not only a parent, but the coach of the other team), and starts screaming (and cursing) at LatteGirl’s coach about how mean and aggressive his players are. (LatteGirl was in no way involved in this incident).

[End Wavy Lines and flashback]

So back to present day, TheWife comments that we need to teach LatteGirl to “tone it down” and not go after the ball so aggressively.  When I ask why, she reminds me of what is now being called in the 6-8 year old league… “The Incident.”

My response to her was, you either teach her to be the one that does the kicking, or you relegate her to being the one kicked in the face by not playing seriously.

Her response?

“This is why you are not allowed to go to her games!  Are all  men just so ‘angry’ and play everything so seriously?”

So, I put it to you… Is it a “guy thing?”  Am I wrong to teach my daughter to play properly and up to her abilities (bearing in mind that I am doing nothing to “push” her, just guide what she is already doing, and showing her how to do what she is doing better)?  Should I be teaching her to “play down” to the other kids?

I am in need of a bit of guidance or advise from the Stay-At-Home or Work-From-Home, or even the not so stay-at-home types of parents today. Since as I noted earlier, I have to juggle my schedule and work from home today since our aftercare program which is school based closes along with the school for Spring Break.

Under normal situations, I have found attempting to work from home sometimes a bit daunting, because LatteGirl always seems to have a need for something (a drink, a toy, a hug, etc) as soon as I sit down at my computer. Now having wireless, I can (and do) “set up shop” in the dining room so she doesn’t “feel lonely” but that has done little to stem the tide of requests. But that is ultimately manageable, and I can eventually get my work done. But today is not a normal situation for me.

Nope, it seems that much to my surprise, that I am getting sick. Now that may not sound like a big deal to many people. But I don’t get sick. (Oh sure, a bit of a cold here or there, but never for more than a day, and it never is enough to slow me down). The last time I was ill was when I managed to get Strep Throat back in 2003, and that was the first time I had missed work due to getting sick, and had to use a sick day… you know… for actually being sick, in 16 years. So feeling ill is just not something I am used to.

To keep a long story short (Shut it!), how do I manage to keep LatteGirl entertained (fortunately she has 1/2 day today, so I can still take the morning to get some work done and well you know… post this), when I would rather be doing something like, sitting with my head under a towel enjoying the fragrant aroma of Vick’s Vapor Rub, or even more preferable drinking a few shots of warmed up whiskey er… cough syrup, or maybe just ripping my lungs out of my body? (which granted could have an entertainment value for some, but is probably a bit too PG-13 for my 6 year old… excuse me “6-1/2 year old” daughter) How do you balance your need to get well, against the needs of the “I’m bored” child?

Less important can you tell me, how do people deal with this whole”getting sick” think? It just isn’t terribly convenient, so why do normal people do it so often? And how do I get the aliens that are creating this odd green substance the hell out of my lungs?

It was not a good weekend for dumb folk… fortunately for their kids.  First you have the story of an idiot, who wanting to avoid having to take two cars for a family outing, opted instead to have two of his kids, take the trip in the trunk of the car.

Douglas Willy, 40, was arrested Saturday after police received a tip from a person who saw the family at a gas station, authorities said. He was charged with two counts of reckless endangerment.

Willy, his fiancee and their four children were taking a trip but the vehicle did not fit all six passengers. So, police said, he decided two of the children would ride in the trunk to avoid taking a second vehicle.

I guess he was dumb enough to not realize what he was doing was wrong, and actually let the children out temporarily while at the service station.  Now, it may seem callous to some but the fact that the mother was later able to take the children home irks me.  She was in the car as well!  She knew what was going on.  But I guess, since he was driving the vehicle, only he could be charged in the case.  Perhaps, we need to come up with a special law for these types of situations.  Felony Stupidity. 

The second case this weekend, the more I think about it is less dumb, and more just plain sick.  A woman arrested for offering sex with her 7-year-old daughter, just made me quite ill.   I mean, my daughter will be seven years old this year, and while I lament that she is no longer a “little baby” in some respects, she is still an innocent child.  I still rack my brain trying to understand how some sick people can look at a small child like that and see a “sexual being.”  But there is nothing in my head that even come close to trying to figure out what goes through a mother’s head in attempting to cater to these freaks with her own daughter!

The woman was prepared to offer her daughter “for pornographic photos and anything else that was available if the price was right,” Sheriff Warren Evans said. “She had indicated very clearly that that child would do whatever it was that the person who was going to meet the child wanted to do, and that she would see that the child complied.

According to the story, she is being held on $1 million dollars bail (I’m guessing that they felt they couldn’t refuse bail, so they set an amount she probably can’t obtain), and can face up to 20 years.  Now based on the MSNBC report, she showed up at the hotel with a duffel bag full of adult toys, and assorted dresses for her daughter to wear.  Somehow I am guessing that this is not her “first time” pulling this stunt, and 20 years, is no where near long enough of a sentence.  Or maybe, after she serves her time in prison they could remand her to a psychiatric facility until they can determine what is broken in her brain.

I have to admit, that I just don’t get it.  Perhaps it is because I would rather play non-professional sports than watch them.  Maybe it is because I have 2 pro football teams (Jets, Giants), a pro basketball team (Nets) and pro hockey team (Devils) about 8 miles from the house, and if I am willing to drive for say an hour, I can add 3 Professional Baseball Teams (Yankeees, Mets and Phillies), another pro football team (Eagles), another basketball team (Knicks… although do they still qualify as professional these days?), another 3 more Hockey Teams (Rangers, Flyers and Islanders.. although Islanders may fall slightly outside the hour range with traffic on Long Island).  Within that range as well, we have a far too many to list number of semi-pro and minor league teams (though NJ, can’t seem to hold onto an Arena Football team).

So with that perspective, is it all that odd that I just don’t get all that worked up or interested in College Sports?  I realize in some places (OK, let’s be honest most places), there is not the myriad of professional sports teams to choose from and watch locally, so I can only assume that college sports helps fill that void.

Twice a year, I get entertained by all the talk that people (OK mostly men… but not exclusively) put into these events.  The BCS and “March Madness” seems to take even the casual sports fan, and turns them into raving lunatics of stats and even a bit of trash talking with those that disagree with their choices.

For all the talk about the College Football BCS, most people (if not all) that are familiar with it, hate the system, pick out it flaws, and talk about how it is slanted against “their” team.  I have been blissfully unaffected by this for a good many years as Rutgers University has been so amazingly awful, that a ranking was never even a remote possibility.   That is until this year, when they stole the budget from all the other athletic teams (more on that another day), sank some major money into the program, and actually were in the top 10 for the first time ever.  All of the sudden, everybody in NJ is a BCS “expert” screaming about how Rutgers wasn’t getting due credit (until they crashed and burned with some bad losses)… but I am getting away from the subject here.

Now we have come again upon the season of March Madness.  64 teams from 64 deserving (or not so deserving if “your” team is number 65 – 70, and you are crying foul) teams with chances from NONE to “likely” play out the now infamous “brackets”  I love these few days between when the brackets are announced and when the tournament begins.  All across this country, office pools are created to see who can guess the best.   People study teams, charts, histories, and so on looking for hints that might give them the leg up on everybody else, to pick out this years “Cinderalla Story” team that wasn’t supposed to go as far as in the tournament as they did.  Me, I admit to joining in these pools at times, for the sheer fun of it.  However, I will spend about 15 minutes filling out my chart, sticking with the perinnial favorites and teams I know (that admittedly has come back to bite me a few times), and usually wind up with teams such as the Tarheels, Blue Devils, Huskies, Jayhawks.

For the record, I have UNC defeating Kansas for the chapionship.  (And since I seem to have more people visit here from TN than any other location, I will point out that I have the Vols making it to the Sweet 16 before getting picked off).

Now, I had a point, where the heck did it go?  Oh yeah.  So am I the only person that doesn’t take College Sports to be “seriously”?  Seriously… am I?

We were spoiled at the original Daycare/Pre-school that LatteGirl had attended.  The school was fantastic, the people personable, it was clean, and the only days it was closed were major holidays that we had off anyway or snow days that also closed the area schools as well as TheWife’s office, so we were (almost) never left in a bind other than days when LatteGirl was ill.

Fast forward, last year, we regretted out choice of Aftercare program almost from the start.  It is not as if we made the “wrong” choice per se.  We evaluated what few options were available, and selected what I can only describe as the least evil of the choices.  In order to avoid recounting too much pain and disappointment, suffice it to say we knew that we needed to find another option, and was part of our consideration when we decided to move LatteGirl into private school.

We found a school that offered everything (we though) we wanted.  A good school, good academics, small class size, and affordable enough that we could swing it, and an aftercare program right in the school.  It brought us mentally back to the days of the original Pre-K school.  She wouldn’t need to travel from the school to aftercare, she had friends, their were people available to help her with homework.  What a win.

As is often the case with things that are too good to be true, there is usually a dilema that you wind up facing, and the aftercare program has one flaw that caught us off guard and left us scrambling a bit.  And that dilema is what to do with 1/2 days and days off that are not holidays.  Somewhat obviously the aftercare program is not in session on those days.  Even in the aftercare program that we didn’t like, since it was not tied directly to the school, they were open during these times and we had “coverage.”  So on a 1/2 day they just picked LatteGirl up earlier.  During things like Holiday and Spring break, sure we had to pay more for those weeks since she was attending “full time” but we had somewhere for her to go and something to do.  Unfortunately now however that is not the case any longer.

So now we find ourselves juggling schedules even more than usual, trying to find which days we can swap and trade to not lose (too much) work or risk our employment, but still manage to have somebody home.  We have managed fairly well so far, but after just going over the schedule for Spring Break we find ourselves a bit worn.

We are fortunate that I can work from home somedays without my client getting too annoyed, and TheWife’s job has some flexibility.  Others may not be as fortunate, and so I thought I would provide this warning, to take into consideration the “gaps” in your daycare/aftercare coverage ahead of time.  Do you have relatives that perhaps may be able to babysit for a couple of afternoons?  Is their another program in the area that will take your child for just those extended periods off like Spring Break week?  Especially when looking for a different program for those weeks it is worthwhile, even important to check ahead.  There are teacher/student ratios that need to be considered by the facility and they may wind up booked to capacity and even if they wanted to accomodate you, they may not be able to as other kids filled the empty slots first.

Thinking ahead  is much easier and more productive than trying to scrambe for a solution later.

Every so often life throws you a little test to see how you are going to react.  To see if how quickly you will just lose it, or turn into a neurotic mess.  This seems to happen more and more when you are a parent, and almost inevitably occurs when you think you have “nothing” to worry about.

My latest little test on the nerves came Saturday Evening (or Sunday Morning depending on how you want to look at it).  After having some friends over for dinner that evening, I was settled down, trying to catch up on some Tivo’ed shows, as the rest of the house was asleep… Mostly.

As I am sitting there, I here little footsteps wandering down the stairs, and I see LatteGirl appear from the foyer.  “What’s wrong honey?” I ask, half expecting to hear about a bad dream or something that woke her up.  But all I got was a meak, “Nothing,” response, as she walked right by me, towards the dining room.  As she meandered by, she started removing her pajamas.  First the shirt, several steps later the pants, the panties made it almost to the bathroom door.  She proceeded to the bathroom, and I am just sort of watching this unfold.  I feel like I should be doing something, but not quite sure what.

She emerges from the bathroom, and starts through the dining room towards the living room again, but is not reversing the cycle of actually putting her clothes back on.  I finally chime in and ask, “Where are you going?”  She says, “I dunno,” completely expressionless and emotionless.  I lead her towards the sofa, and put her pajamas back on.  As I am doing so, I realize while her eyes are open, and she is at least somewhat responsive, she is basically asleep.

I get her pajamas back on, and get her back to bed, without incident.  But now I am freaked out a bit.  What if I hadn’t been awake and downstairs?  What if she just wandered out of the house?  A million scenarios.  As most parents will atest (I think… It couldn’t be just me… Could it?), when you have something that is even remotely scary happen, you play through seventy bajillion scenarios of how it could have turned out worse, or what else could have happened, and how do you account for each and everyone of those scenarios so that you feel you have dilligently “handled” the situation.

Thanks to nightmares and side effects from asthma medications (including nightmares), LatteGirl has never been a very good sleeper and often, very often gets up in the middle of the night.  But this is the first time she has done anything but simply move from her bedroom to the master bedroom.  So, now I am racking my brain in what the best way is to handle this.  Do I start sleeping in the living room?  Even if I do that, if I am asleep will I hear her?  Do I put back the “gates” that we had when she was a toddler so that she didn’t fall down the stairs?  Could she open them now?  Am I just overreacting? (Probably).

Just life, giving me another little test to see how much it will take to make me lose my mind.

The other day, my daughter told me that a girl in her class got a Credit Card for her birthday.  I stated that either she was mistaken, or the kid was talking about a pretend Credit Card, after all “…you can’t have a credit card when you are under 18 years of age, because you can’t legally sign a contract.”

TheWife informed me that I was wrong, and that Visa, Mastercard and the like had actually started to market cards to kids.  I listened, but was still skeptical.  After all, there was still that whole, “of legal age” thing.  Then yesterday’s post over at BusyMom in talking about dealing with allowances for her kids mentioned the programs (fortunately complete with links) to programs like Visa Buxx and  The Allow Card.

Once, I picked my jaw up off the floor, I went to the article she mentioned from the Wall Street.  I was flummoxed.  How did we get to this point, and how do we get back out of it?  Not once in the articles, web site, did I hear mention of a Savings Account.  Cash… yes, old fashioned checking accounts… yup, the “problem with figuring out which kid charged something on eBay” (exactly who are these parents that let their children use their credit cards and not know what the child is buying?) and more.  But not a single mention of a CD, Money Market, or Saving Account.

Is it any surprise then when you look at the trend in Personal Saving Rate,  it has been trending down for years, and was even Negative for most (if not all) of 2005 – 2006?

Now, I have to admit that in the digital age, cash is not only “old school” it is almost counter productive with so much that is bought online, etc.  But there are plenty of pitfalls to it as well.  Before considering a card like this for your kids, take a look at this article which give both the pros and cons of these types of programs.

But ultimately whether you decide to use this tool for your kids or not.  Teaching responsibility and savings is important too, so do yourself (and them) a favor and teach them the benefit of SAVING as well the quickest and easiest ways to spend.

(I’m just glad to find this article from the Washingtonpost.com that also thinks that marketing cards to kids is an nefarious idea. )

The past six months or so has been quite exciting as we watch LatteGirl develop and start to show interest in new things.   Gone are the days when her attention was solely on toys and dolls, as she has begun looking to expand her horizons.  It has also brought on new pitfalls that of course need to be navigated as well, and I struggle almost daily with trying to find the balance of encouraging her, trying to show her things and showing enthusiasm towards what she is interested in, while avoiding going overboard and becoming one of those parents.

If you have ever taken your child to an activity, a birthday party, virtually anything at one point you almost have to know at least one set of those parents.   The ones where what the child is involved in is more about the parent than it is about the kids.  The parent that expects their child to be the center of attention on the field or stage, the one that becomes so critical of their kids at a soccer or baseball game that you feel sorry for the child because it quickly becomes obvious that the child would have more fun if the parent could just lighten up and let them enjoy themselves.  I know I have that potential.  I guard against it constantly.  For her first season of soccer, I puposefully stayed away from her games, to ensure I did not become too critical or try too hard to become her personal coach.  I wanted her to explore it for herself.

On the other side of that coin of course, you don’t want to be too aloof or indifferent to their interests, lest you give them the impression that what is of interest to them, is not important to you.  Or potentially cause them to lose interest or focus because your lack of participation or guidance.  Where something was fascinating, it may fall by the wayside, because of some knowledge or assistance that you could have provided, if only you were paying closer attention.

Then of course there are the other mitigating factors.  Such as how much of an investment do you make into each interest?  For example, as I have mentioned, LatteGirl got a telescope this Christmas.  She has an interest in the starts and space right now, so I certainly want to encourage it.  But out of the box, it comes with two lenses, and a limited edition of the software.  One side of me says that I should just allow her to use it as is until it is determined that she has enough of an interest to increase the expense and buying the “optional” accessories.  The fear of course is that I wonder if she doesn’t follow through “enough” to justify the expenses or loses interest, is it because I didn’t make the investment into the additional tools that would have added capabilities that may have kept her interested.

Finally there is the whole overscheduled child situation that is usually a topic for most parents at one time or another.  While I certainly want to encourage her to expand her horizons and discover new and interesting things, how do I balance that with ensuring she is dedicating enough time to each item or activity to give it a fair chance of knowing how much she likes it.

My wife says I over analyze things too much of the time.  But all I want is all the right answers.  In this case, I am not sure there is one exactly right, one size fits all answer.  I will just have to keep adjusting to keep everything in balance.

So how do you keep from going overboard?  (Or don’t you?).

Every so often I stop, look around and notice something. The women in this house have me well trained. All of them. Even the dog.

But I think TheWife is the most stealthy at it. The two of us will be going out to dinner tonight to celebrate her birthday (yesterday). Yesterday we went out (family style) to dinner. She enjoyed a birthday present of a 3 day weekend at the spa, and came home to a “wrapped present” of an iPod Nano. Before Thanksgiving, she was taken out to dinner by her Sisters for her birthday, and this weekend, we will have the traditional Birthday Cake and coffee.

So, in reality, she has managed to turn her Birthday into a week long gala. This is not the first time… but it is the first time I actually noticed. She has me well trained.

Today’s article, For kids, is 10 the new 15? from MSNBC finally lets us know we as parents are not losing our minds, or just “turning into our parents.” That teen/tween line has been breeched and kids are in fact doing more sooner.

I guess it is in some senses not really all that strange, I mean my daughter is doing school work in the 1st grade that I didn’t do, probably until the third grade (or later). We (society) learned that children are sponges that absorb knowledge at an extremely fast pace, so we encourage that. What it seems we haven’t considered is where that acceleration could lead.

(Now I am not advocating slowing down the learning process. I think it is wonderful that a child can absorb so much and we should feed that thirst for knowledge. )

Now as the Associated Press article states, some of it is currently attributed to nutrition. As an outspoken critic again hormone laced milk products, I of course will lay some blame here as well, though exactly how much is easily debatable.

External stimuli is of course also a factor. I mean regardless of the fact that I control what and how much television my daughter watches, or what she reads, etc. Outside influences (ie. school friends, etc) still have an effect.

So what do we do? How do we stop them from trying to grow up too fast? At least I now know it is not just me.

Like I am sure every parent thinks about their child, I think LatteGirl is absolutely gorgeous. And from time to time, TheWife and I have pondered the possibility of trying to get her involved in commercials or modeling.

As TheWife and LatteGirl were leaving the photo studio where we get LatteGirl’s Christmas photos done (yes, we are THOSE parents, that insist on sending pictures of our daughter for a card), a person approached my wife, and gave her a card. She said she was from an agency, and that they needed people like my daughter. They exchanged some information, and the person said they would be in touch.

When told about it, I was immediately skeptical. (Not exactly a big jump for me). I said to TheWife how it sounded like a scam to me, one of those “modeling agencies” that are more interested in selling headshot packages, because they really have no “clients” looking for models. TheWife was quite annoyed, claiming I had no knowledge on which to base my suppositions.

They called over the weekend. I took the call, and the lady on the other end wanted to set up an appointment, immediately… as in even on Sunday. She heard the questioning tone in my voice, and in trying to “reassure” me, she actually fed my skepticism. “Don’t worry, Mr. Latte this is a no-cost or obligation meeting” Yup, there is was. Clear as day (to me). She wouldn’t need to reassure me that their was “no obligation” unless she had plans to sell me something. I decided, I was just too sure that this was a sell you pictures scam, so I decided to defer it to TheWife and let her speak to the representative.

SO TheWife, aware of my skeptical feelings asked what was to be expected and or discussed at this meeting. The lady said, it depended on the representative, and what they thought of LatteGirl, and of course what sort of Marketing Package we would need…

TheWife is of course now feeling as skeptical as I had all along. I feel bad (OK, well I started to feel bad right after I said, “I told you so”). But she still has some lingering thoughts about it. Maybe we DO need to get a “marketing package” (even if it isn’t from these people). Maybe we should be trying to get her face out there if we are ever going to be serious about her possibly getting into commercials or child modeling. It would be nice to have that to add to her college fund

I just don’t know. Part of me would love to see her do that sort of stuff. But of course part of me just thinks about that stupid over made up picture of Jon Benet Ramsey, and make me feel like even thinking about her doing something like that (even if it is solely for her college fund/future) is exploiting.

I just don’t know what to do.

What would you do?

I realize that Avarian Flu is still a major concern around the world, and that currently Tamiflu is considered one of the only (if not currently THE only) medicine that currently combats it, but until I hear of a major outbreak of Bird Flu in the United States, this article from MSNBC will make me think twice (or more) before I allow my child to take Tamiflu. Tamiflu takers: Watch out for bizarre behavior

I pointed out an article on how many parents today spend more time with their kids than they did in the past. I have to tell you, for me, it is quite easy because, I can think of nothing I enjoy more now than sharing something with my daughter.

Chris over at Rude Cactus, has a very nice post about Legacies. And it got me thinking about how a child can change so much in you. How you see the world around you, and how while you are trying to help that little person grow into the person you wish him/her to be, they that they are in fact actually help you grow as a person as well.

If however, you never take the time to share, then both lose out.

Sure there are times, when I miss having a little more me time, and the chance to do more of the things I used to enjoy doing. But. There of course will come that day that my daughter will be less than enthusiastic about sharing her time with dear old dad. I dread that day of course, but rather than dwelling on what will happen then, I appreciate and savor the time we can share now.

Why is this called “Picture Perfect Thursday”? Well you have to go visit Liz over at This Full House for more details. If you do join in, please let me know)

Sorry I was so late. More on that tomorrow.

3 hours. You wouldn’t think it would be all that difficult to entertain children for three hours would you? We had Pumpkins for decorating, crafts, games, toys, prizes, stories and food. At one point we wondered if we had gone overboard. I mean after all, how much can you fit in three hours, right?

Well…ummm… no. Wrong.

It turns out, without a staff in place so that you can whisk them from one activity to another having everything in place so they do not have a moment to pause, a group of 6 girls and two boys can in fact get bored, or out of control, or crazy in a matter of seconds of not being fully entertained.

We finally decided to, despite the slightly wet grass, allow the kids to just cut loose in the yard, and “run it off.” This of course was not without its own ways to drive a person to drink. Every child wanted multiple chances to go across the monkey bars. This had two problems. One, the monkey bars on the swing set we have goes across the swings. You can not have one person on the swings, and another going across the monkey bars at the same time. Second, only one child could actually accomplish going across on her own, everyone else needed to “assistance” (OK, lets be honest here, I basically needed to carry them across, but just slowly enough so they could moves their hands from bar to bar so they could pretend to actually be doing it).

Now, to be honest, overall the kids were really good. Well, all but one. Not that this one particular girl was outright “bad” but she was always the one to instigate things, to rile up the others, to be counted on to do the one idiotic stunt (like deciding she was going to start pretending to be a ninja and kicking anyone and anything she could – not to be malicious, but “just because”).

TheWife and I tend to disagree on this. I thought this party could have been perfect had this one child not been invited. TheWife thinks I over-react (perhaps it has something to do with this Migraine I developed by the time it was over), and that the girl is a “sweetheart” and we can’t just exclude her (even though we have since Pre-School days known that she is ALWAYS this sort of problem.). I think, I do not need to have our events suffer, because she has some uncontrollable need to be the center of attention, even if she winds up being destructive to do it.

Her mother is a very nice lady, and tries very hard to keep her child under control. She threatened and warned her child about her behavior on several occasions, which would work briefly, only to start again.

What do you think? Would you omit a child that has a history of getting out of control?

Overall, despite the issues and pitfalls, everybody had a great time. TheWife thought the party was a huge success, as did LatteGirl who is already thinking about her “next party.” Even I, migraine and all, thought things were good, although, I am not sure I can handle a “next party” until perhaps next Halloween.

I enjoyed bragging yesterday about how Parents spend more time with their kids today than they did 40 years ago. But as Barry correctly pointed out, there are still problems. Problems that seem to start in the teen years, where I don’t know why, but parents seem to lose control over their kids, and the parents seem out of touch.

There has been plenty of blame going on in the news, with the “dangers” of MySpace, so much so that places have actually taken to trying to ban it. Of course, plenty has been offered in the way of blaming the Internet for teen smoking. To prove their point, The American Cancer Society enlisted kids 11-15, according to this article, to go and buy cigarettes online. And of course the kids were able to get them because the site did not “verify their age.” Back in August, this article points out that kids as young as 14 according to the study cited have purchased alcohol online. I will return to that age verification in a momment.

The latest today, is article about how Teenagers are turning to the Internet to buy Prescription Drugs. At least in this article the examples they give are teenagers that are 18 and 19 years old, so in theory at least, the parents can be given some benefit of the doubt because the kids could have possibly already had their own credit cards, and were of legal age. But of course despite the examples given, what the article is hinting at is again that underage teens are acquiring these items via the Internet.

Now wait a minute and think about that. Underage kids buying things on the Internet. (See I told you I would get back to it). How exactly does an underage kid go about purchasing something on the Internet like cigarettes or Prescription drugs? After all, they would need a credit card to complete their transactions. The Credit Card companies don’t (generally, unless a mistake is made, but that usually only happens in TV sitcoms) give credit cards to minors. They are not of legal age to enter into the contract for a credit card. So are they using Mom and Dad’s Credit cards? Hmmm. Maybe if the parents were paying attention. You think?

Somewhere along the line these parents seem to want to abdicate responsibility for raising their kids to legislators. Well we need to stop the sale of Prescription Drugs on the Internet because 11 year old Tommy is buying Xanax. Well, dumbass don’t give a credit card (or don’t leave it where he can get it) to you underage kid. And maybe it might be a good idea to take a look at the bill every so often and see what the hell is on there.

I don’t know if this was nationwide or not, but around here, one television station use to run a PSA every evening. “It’s 10PM, do you know where your child is?” I used to think it was a stupid ad (especially when I was a teen), but you know what? Most of the time, (hey I’m not perfect, and sure I fibbed once or a dozen times) my parents did know where I was.

Nobody is going to raise your child for you. You can legislate the world away. Even as a teen (and probably especially as a teen), your parenting skills and guidance are needed. It is easy to stay in your child’s life when they are young, they really can’t stray all that far away from you. But as they get older, their needs for you don’t diminsh… they just change.

We survived the weekend unscathed (for the most part).

LatteGirl got a bad case of nerves prior to her game, and didn’t want to go. In trying to teach her to honor her commitments, we told her she had to go since she had already promised her team and coach that she would be there. Many tears were shed, but she went.

Well, not surprisingly she had a blast playing and even scored a goal in her first game, and her team won making her all smiles, and of course she now loves it more than ever and is looking forward to playing again.

By the time Saturday evening rolled around everyone was pretty well wiped (no big surprise there) so we put off the carnival until Sunday. So LatteGirl and I hit the carnival together (TheWife had other plans with her sisters for Sunday which is why we were originally trying to fit everything in on Saturday). Our luck was absolutely phenomenal. I expected to spend around $20 and maybe… MAYBE wind up with one stuffed animal from the games of chance. We stopped after spending around $15 because we already had 6 LARGE stuffed animals and we just couldn’t carry any more. Sure these were cheap stuffed animals and the total cost of them was probably around $6 total, but we had a blast, and LatteGirl got a kick out of being the one getting pointed at by other kids, who wanted to win “that” particular item, or “that many” prizes.

So, I guess you could call it a win-win-win weekend.

In the six years that LatteGirl has graced us with her presence, I have learned a lot about being a parent. Probably, though the most important lesson is that no matter what your start out planning, pay attention to parents that come before you. No, not necessarily your parents or grandparents, because well, admittedly some things do change with time, so things are much different now than they were THEN.

But that parent that you know that has that kid a year or even several years older. The one that has already lived through the experience, and tells you what you will be up against. C’mon, I can’t be the only one. You remember. The one that told you about certain pitfalls and traps that await you, and you being the starry-eyed perfect planner that says, “Well, I am never going to fall into that THAT trap!” or “I will never let that happen with my child.”

Morph a few years ahead, probably after you have already forgotten the warnings and advise you had dismissed previously, when BAM! You find yourself in the exact same place. This has happened with LatteGirl more times than I care to admit, and probably more times than I actually remember.

The most recent example is today. We have always sworn we would not let her fall into “overscheduled child” syndrome. You know, where you have far too much going on at one time. Now to keep my pride somewhat intact I will say, it is not a daily or even weekly occurrence that this happens. It is only “once in a while”, but yet despite our best intentions and efforts we still wind up with days like this:

7AM – Rise and shine
8:15 – 9:30 Soccer Game
10:30 – 12:30 Sesame Street Live (we bought the tickets months ago)
2:00 – 4:30 Birthday Party
7:00 – ?? Local Parish Carnival

And we actually removed her dance class from this schedule (she will make it up later).

Add it the time for traveling to and from each event, throw in a little bit of time to perhaps actually stuff some food down your throat, and that is one heck of a schedule for a 6 year old to handle (hell, that is a heck of a schedule for a 40 year old to handle).

The whole soccer thing is new to the schedule (more on that in upcoming days), so that is something we will have to work in… but I still can’t figure out… how the heck, despite our best efforts to plan otherwise, that we wind up with days like this.

To those that tried to warn me there would be days like this no matter how hard I tried to not overschedule. Sorry… You were right.

OK, so I am not really going back to school, but it sure as heck seems like it.

Back to school night just took place at LatteGirl’s school, and really what it boiled down to was letting parents know what was expected of THEM for the upcoming school year.

Now, I am all for pushing students at a young age when their little brains are like sponges and can absorb so much, but honestly do these teachers believe that you (or your child) has absolutely nothing else to do on any given evening than to just dedicate the entire evening to homework?

I am not anti-homework (Did I really just say that? My mother would faint!), but they can really go overboard, and we are in week 2. I am seriously afraid of what is coming down the road.

To those of you that have 2 or more. I bow down to you. I can hardly keep up with one, I can’t imagine having to corral and work with more than one on any given evening.

Last week, the mother of a friend of TheWife passed away. As she prepared to go to the wake that evening, LatteGirl in her usual inquisitive manner asked where she was going. TheWife explained the situation. LatteGirl showed empathy in expressing how sad that was. That empathy brought her to a decision… she wanted to go “visit” Poppie.

We pondered it for a bit, and decided that there should be no major psychological harm and decided to take her to the mausoleum, still quite sure how she would react.

It was, in a word… interesting. As we walked up to the location, at first she put her hand on the marble stone, waited a beat and then asked, “Poppie’s IN there?” I replied “Yes.” “Can I see him?” Oh boy. Here we go. “Um… no honey” “But why not?” How do you explain a 2 year old rotting corpse to a 6 year old in a way won’t bring on months of nightmares. TheWife and I managed to wiggle around it as best we could until either she was satisfied with the answer… or she just decided we were idiots that wouldn’t give her a straight answer. Either way… She stopped.

She sort of hung on the stone, keeping her hand on his name, and every so often expressing how much she missed him. But in general her spirits were OK, and she found some diversions in noticing what other people had on their markers, pictures, emblems etc. Everything was good until we said it was time to go. She did not want to leave. So the haggling began. She started off with “Can we come every day?”, to which I countered with the non-specific, “We can come every so often.” She retorted with, “Fine. How is every week?” We settled on once a month, “for now” to be reconsidered later.

That satisfied her (for the time being), we said good-bye to Poppie… until October.

I still can’t believe how well she handles herself with this at 6 year old. She never fails to impress me.

Finally got a chance to update and upload some pictures onto Flickr.

The one you see here was taken by TheWife one afternoon. LatteGirl went with her for her hair appointment and decided she wanted to get her hair done too (for no particular reason other than to get it done).

When they came back home, TheWife got her to put on her white Princess Nightgown, and took these photos. Do they look as much like a series of Wedding Photos to you (click on the image to see the others of course), as they do to me? Or is it just me having a case of Daddy Anxiety looking at his little girl growing up?

I alluded to it in the vacation recap, but really I have been glossing over it. LatteGirl is shy in new surroundings. She easily (for the most park) makes friends when she warms up and lets her guard down. But the time it takes for her to “warm up” in any given situation seems to have gotten worse and not better.

Now, we finally got to the bottom of part of it. It seems that one girl at summer camp that happen to be friends with some of the same people as LatteGirl, was a bit of a bully to her. She didn’t like my little angel and this girl did not have any problem letting LatteGirl know it. LatteGirl has not so far really encountered such a situation where a person she was willing to befriend, simply did not like her and there was nothing she could do about it.

After finally getting this information out during a discussion one day during vacation, she did warm up around some of the kids at the resort. So, I can only assume that her understanding that not everybody is going to like her (something she could only ask “Why?” to, but seemed to finally accept), put her a bit more at ease. But I fear the underlying problem continues.

Part of the problem I suppose is that outside of school/daycare she has very little interaction with other kids. This of course leads to the problem of Mommy and Daddy having to also fill the role of “friend” most of the time. Which leads to her depending and expecting Mommy and Daddy to play that role, plus it is one she knows and is comfortable with. So she shys away (at first) from others.

It is frustrating. It is a problem easily identified. It is a problem that is easy to find the root cause. But it is one that I am perplexed as to how to solve. I thought things like getting her involved in dance classes would help, since there were several girls that she already knew from Pre-K in the class, she built on her relationships with those girls and even with the recitals continued to hide.

Starting a new school in the fall may help a bit, but that of course depends on who or how many previous friends are in the same class. She will start dance classes again, but many of the same kids will be in that class, so I don’t know how much that will change anything. TheWife has tried to get her interested in a few other things such as gymnastics and soccer, but we have to contend one with the fact that she has expressed zero to less than zero interest and two we do not want to wind up making her one of those “overscheduled” children that are always running somewhere, but rarely excel at any one thing because they have their hands in too many things.

Do you have a shy child (or one that has broken out of their “shell”)? How do you deal with it?

When LatteGirl started school this fall, it ended the era of her at her original Daycare, which does not offer an “after-care” program. When we started looking into the after-care programs available to us, one thing became crystal clear to us. We were spoiled with the daycare center we had, and nothing else in the area even came close to the quality of the teachers, the quality of the program and the cleanliness of the ‘schools’ compared with the original place.

It is only now that I can laugh at how panicked we were when TheWife went back to work. We were distraught with the though of our child spending so much time with others and not enough parent time. We worried about the spread of germs, and whether she would fit it, etc. All the typical worries of a caring parent starting to put their child in a daycare program. We were hypercritical of some things and demanded the best for our daughter. And in reality, we got it. We had (for the most part, there were several little problems, but I am speaking of the program in general), incredible good luck with caring teachers that not only did a great job of taking care of our daughter, but that she liked being around as well. When she was in the “2s Room” (she was already three but had not graduated to the “Pre-K 3s”), one of her teachers left for another teaching job. She was inconsolable for several days, as she cryed over the loss of the teacher. Nothing we could say made it better, until she latched onto the new teacher, whom she wound up liking “even more.”

Then to move onto a program that has several teachers that do not even speak english all that well (which I am sorry, is important when you need to speak to English speaking children… and their parents), is not particularly well kept (it is more an “old” thing… and need of a paint job than anything else, it just LOOKS dirty, it really isn’t, but the faded paint, poor lighting, etc just make it… feel dingy).

This had us so upset, the decision was made that TheWife would switch to part time employment, so that LatteGirl never had to spend more than two days a week there, and then as little time as possible. On the two days a week I pick her up, I rush to get there as early as possible, so she is spending no more than two hours there after school on those days.

But now, after nearly six months I have come to some conclusions, including one that we once again over reacted. She really enjoys the couple of hours she spends there, has several new friends and gets along well with the teachers. I get along as well with most of the teachers, although admittedly I am still a bit frustrated with 1 that speaks with such an awful accent, it takes a minimum of three attempts from her before I can gather enough fragments together to figure out what she is trying to say. What drew me to this startling revelation? Well fortunately for me (and more UNfortunately for her and her daughter), the recent problems that have besieged Miss Zoot and NikkiZ with there daycare have make me put into perspective how good I really have it.

I have taken advantage of the opportunity afforded to me and walked LatteGirl to and from school a number of times since I have been home (it would have been more, but TheWife wanted to keep things in the “usual routine” during this time).

I tell you it was was weird. I now know what my wife went through on the first day of school back in September. Watching my little baby girl wave good-bye to me, line up with her classmates, and head off into “big girl school.” It was all I could do to keep myself from crying.

I can be such a wimp sometimes.

I have alway paid attention to what my daughter has watched on television. Our television for the better part of the past 5 1/2 years has rarely deviated from the Disney Channel, except of course when we moved over to DirecTV and gave her the “choices” of Disney Channel, Disney Channel West and Toon Disney.

Her favorites have varied over time, and she is now starting to outgrow some of the “baby shows” as she calls them, such as Winnie the Pooh, Bear in the Big Blue House and The Wiggles. Some shows that are very similar still hold her interest including Little Einsteins and The Doodlebops (to be honest, I think the Doodlebobs won out over the Wiggles only because of the Wiggles Overload stage she went through were it was “All Wiggles, All the time” for several months).

Now she is still growing up Disney, but the shows that are entertaining her are a bit more complex, Lilo and Stitch and Kim Possible constitutes her “Must See TV”. As a matter of fact I now have something like 48 episodes of Kim Possible and at least 2 dozen Lilo and Stitch episodes stored on the Tivo. These shows I do not mind, because they are still (usually) designed to teach some sort of lesson to the viewer.

However, now some new shows are entering the fray. Shows like, That’s So Raven, The Suite Life of Zach and Cody, and Phil of the Future. None of these shows are “bad” per se, particularly when up against some other choices. But they do not alway convey a “message” and even when they do it is a bit over her head (at least so far). The other problem (which is more MY issue than anything I guess), is that these shows bring up topics that are spurring new lines of questioning from my daughter than I am just not ready to handle. Granted, it is good that it makes her “think”, but I am just not ready for the questions she is asking.

Last year it was my mother-in-law, with American Idol Barbie. Now I am not one of those people that think you can make or break a young girls self-image with a doll. But this particular model irked me. Why? Because my (then) 4 year old daughter bouncing around the house with the pretend Karaoke machine which came with it singing, “Opps I did it again” and “I’m not so innocent.” This is of course a father’s worst nightmare.

This year it was my sister. Nothing quite as an affront to my sanity as the American Idol Barbie, but annoying still. Polly Pockets. And not just one but 4 sets of these miniscule dolls with tiny rubber clothes and even smaller accessories. This was apparently the hit gift of Christmas. She took this out of the box on Monday Morning (trying to salvage some sort of sanity I would not let her open it until we got home, lest hundreds of little pieces get left at Grandma’s house).

Just a reminder, Monday was our “play date” day. Just Daddy and Daughter. Well we played with Polly Pockets literally all day long, and into the evening. Toys this small were not meant to be handled by big ox guys like me. But for LatteGirl it was fantasic. And all the CLOTHES that came with it (over 40 items, just begging to be sucked up by the vacuum cleaner). She was just in heaven, which was the only thing that managed to keep me sane through 12 hours of play. The clothes to their credit do go on and off fairly easily, but do not fit very well, making it difficult to use the ski lift and other parts of this toy, which is not the best quality item in the world and has a tendency to come apart.

To top it off, along with the “Ski Hotel” (pictured) it also came with a “fashion bar” (meaning a beauty salon that looks more like a bar). Lots more ITSY BITSY TEENY TINY LITTLE accessories that are IMPOSSIBLE to find once the get into the rug. Cleaning up after playtime was an hour long search for pieces to get everything away.

I can only wonder what they hell the relatives have planned for her birthday party this year!