“I don’t know why I can’t go with you. I know what you are going to do. You are going to get all kissy-face. And I have already seen that.”
- LatteGirl, upon finding out she would be spending the evening with Grandma, and not joining us for dinner.
Punk’d x2
Posted on June 6, 2007 · 1 Comment
OK, so I have seen it on sitcoms before, and I guess the best comedy is based on real life and all that, but never did I ever believe it would happen. But it did. Just let me say if you have money in Provident Bank, you may wish to rethink that choice, because today in the mail, LatteGirl (age 7 for those that haven’t been playing along) received a “Pre-Qualified offer” for a credit card.
Now to be honest, I am not sure what troubles me more. The fact that she got a credit card offer. Or that they offered her a better rate than I currently have on my own cards.
Now to doubled up on my “Punk’d”edness, as I was joking with TheWife about how they gave a 7 year old a credit card, LatteGirl walks up and asks me, “Dad what do you do for money?” I tell her that I thought she already knew that I work as a Computer Programmer, to which she replies, “I just wanted to make sure, because if you told jokes, I don’t think we’d have enough money to go to Disney World”
She is obviously feeling far more fearless now that her birthday present season is behind her.
Weekend Humor
Posted on March 17, 2007 · 1 Comment
MEDICAL INSURANCE EXPLAINED
(Research done by the AARP Legal Department)
Q. What does HMO stand for?
A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, “HEY MOE.” Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eye.
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Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?
A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. The doctors basically fall into two categories–those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan. But don’t worry, the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day’s drive away and a diploma from a third world country.
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Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
A. No. Only those you need.
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Q. Can I get cover age for my preexisting conditions?
A. Certainly, as long as they don’t require any treatment.
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Q What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A. You’ll need to find alternative forms of payment.
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Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand. I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What should I do?
A. Poke yourself in the eye.
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Q. What if I’m away from home and I get sick?
A. You really shouldn’t do that.
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Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his/her office?
A. Hard to say, but considering that all your risking is the $20 co-payment, there’s no harm in giving it a shot.
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Q. Will health care be different in the next century?
A. No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.
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If you have any questions, please contact: AARP
Original Source: Unknown (if yours please let me know so I can give credit where credit is due)
A Little Saturday Humor
Posted on March 3, 2007 · 3 Comments
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello.
He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says,
“Do you know me?” To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says,”My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table? With all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???”
She looks into his eyes and says calmly, “No, I’m your son’s teacher.”
