Balancing Santa and reality
In some ways I consider myself lucky that at 8 years old, LatteGirl still believes in Santa Claus. At least for one more year we can keep this charade alive. Reality and real life will seep in soon enough and take away some of her childhood innocense, and anything that can beat that back for just a little bit longer is fine with me.
She is already feeling a bit conflicted with messages from both school and Sunday school, being told the Christian mythology that Jesus is the “reason for the season.” (Please, stop the e-mails, I am not condemning any religion, but the fact is that the celebration of Jesus’ birth celebration was assigned to conincide with the Yule season. And besides, it isn’ t the point). Like many people, the holiday season this year will be cut back a bit as we tighten our belts and deal with economic uncertainty. But how do you explain and rationalize that with a child that believes in Santa Claus?
We have told her (as we have over the past couple of years) that the more expensive the gifts she asks for, the fewer in number she will actually receive. However, in the past, she just accepted this at face value. Now however, we have to balance reasoning and questioning. Why? Santa doesn’t “buy” gifts, he “makes” them, so why does cost matter?
The expense has also put a crimp in one other tradition I had started with her a few years back, where I get her to pick out at the store, one gift that she would “really, really, really” like to have, purchase that gift, and then she puts it into the Toys for Tots collection bin. It serves at a reminder to be kind to those that are less fortunate, and also (I hope) reminds that giving isn’t just about giving up what you don’t want anymore. (After all it is much easier to give a toy that she doesn’t actually want or like, but I try to stress to her if she would like it, so would some other child that perhaps wouldn’t get such a nice gift). This of course is not as easy since her taste has gotten a bit more expensive. Sure, I would love to buy a Wii a donate it, but I just don’t have that kind of money to throw around. Also, now she queries why Santa give less to poor children.
How do you do it? How do you instill good values, teach about being good to others, teach understanding of economic issues, stay on budget, and still keep it so that it doesn’t completely destroy the magic? I am open to suggestions.
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My oldest daughter is 6 1/2 and I’m so hoping she still “believes” in Santa in two years but she’s already started questioning me about him as in “Mommy why are there different Santas all over our city?” I had to explaint that Santa has helpers so he can rest up and travel all over the world Christmas eve.
I love the idea you have for buying a gift for a charitable cause. We’ve been donating to the Salvation Army bell ringers when we’ve gone out shopping and I’ve tried to explain to my daughters that not all parents can afford to buy their children gifts. We’re not super religious but I also try to always remind them that the holiday is really about the birth of Jesus.
I’m fairly new to this balancing act so I’m looking forward to reading what others have to say in hopes I don’t screw up too badly.
You have a smart cookie there. Keep cultivating those questions!
Last year at six, Clare started wondering why we have to help so some kids can get toys. I somehow deflected the question and I’ll do it again. We’re getting at least one more year out of Santa too.
We are dealing with the exact same questions from our nine-year-old daughter. Every year I think it will be our last with Santa, and then she stretches her belief even more.
I’m out of answers. She’s too smart for all that. I’m starting to think that just telling her would be the best thing. I sometimes think she’s just in denial.
Let us know how it goes?