I admit at times to being a bit jealous of “The Mom.”  When it comes to child rearing, and childhood memories, and everything to do with building a relationship with a child, it seems that marketers believe that there is nobody else but “The Mom.”  This is not a slam against mothers.  History certainly shows why marketers tend to steer towards them in such cases (even if it is an “unwanted” Butterball Turkey Pot Holder… sorry I couldn’t help myself).

I have of course learned over the years that there are plenty of “The Dads” out there as well that strive much harder than previous generations to do more with our kids, to be a bigger part of their lives from the outset, and not just be, “The Provider,” that comes home from work looking for his Pipe and Brandy, then patting his kids on the head as the nanny whisks them off to bed.  Nope, we got the message, and we have made sure we have time to tell the kids, “Lets go fly a kite.”

Then I ran across this article on msn, about Paving Memory Lane, from Best Life Magazine, and by the time I was done, I was… I don’t know annoyed?… sickened?… generally pissed.  It seems that in the eyes of this author, the only way for a Dad to ingrain his place in his children’s head is to trick them into it.  He offers “tricks” such as giving names to events so they are catchy, family slogans, the buying of “tourist-trap junk”, and even hookey day to “prove” you are cool.

I like many men want to create memories with our children, but if the only way you can create them it to trick your kids into remember it, then I say either you aren’t trying hard enough, or often enough.  Just being there for your kids is a gift your kids will cherish.  Being there for that soccer game, or dance recital, or whatever else is important to them when they are young is far more important and will be remembered far longer, than the trinket you indulged on the one time you actually did something for them.

Just being a Dad for your kids is enough.  No slight of hand required.

One week until we head up to this place in the Poconos for a vacation.  One I desperately seem to need all of the sudden.  But leading up to it, is the week from hell.  Two family functions, for both sides of the in-laws, to “family reunion events” that just may very well suck the life force out of me.

Now don’t get me wrong, some of my in-laws are very nice.  However, I can count them on one hand.  As for the rest of them, well all I can say is the best feeling I ever had about them was when my mother-in-law moved 1/2 way across the country one week after our wedding.  (She has unfortunately since moved back).

These are people that are difficult to take in small doses on a one-on-one basis.  Get them together, and it could send the strongest willed people screaming for the hills.  So bookend them on successive weekends, and you have a recipe to send me straight to the nut house.

I have never understood the facination with the family reunion in the first place.  Yes, there are times that you sort of lose contact with one or two people because everybody is too busy with their own lives, raising kids, etc.  But you can pick up the phone and call those particular people.  Invite them over for dinner, or drinks or whatever.  Why the whole big event with EVERYBODY including the people that you haven’t spoken to years.  If you were honest with yourself, there is probably a reason that you haven’t spoken to them.  And it will all come rushing back, most likely several minutes after they arrive, and now you will have to deal with them for the rest of the day  (or worse if they are the “never leave” type… think Cousin Eddie from Christmas Vacation).

Family Reunions?  Just say No!