Comments on: Little Victims http://tripleventi.com/2007/02/22/little-victims/ Extra Large, Extra Strong... without being bitter Sat, 01 Oct 2011 22:55:16 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 By: AdventureDad http://tripleventi.com/2007/02/22/little-victims/comment-page-1/#comment-1035 AdventureDad Fri, 23 Feb 2007 09:45:54 +0000 http://tripleventi.com/2007/02/22/little-victims/#comment-1035 I agree, it's often the children who get hurt. The best thing is for the parents to remain friends. Easier said than done. My sister is divorced and has three kids. She gets along very well with her ex and they the kids every other week. Have you talked to your BIL and let him know how much this is hurting the children? Nice weekend AD I agree, it’s often the children who get hurt. The best thing is for the parents to remain friends. Easier said than done. My sister is divorced and has three kids. She gets along very well with her ex and they the kids every other week. Have you talked to your BIL and let him know how much this is hurting the children?

Nice weekend

AD

]]> By: creative-type dad http://tripleventi.com/2007/02/22/little-victims/comment-page-1/#comment-1030 creative-type dad Fri, 23 Feb 2007 06:42:15 +0000 http://tripleventi.com/2007/02/22/little-victims/#comment-1030 That's so sad. It's hard enough for a kid growing up... That’s so sad. It’s hard enough for a kid growing up…

]]> By: Kelly http://tripleventi.com/2007/02/22/little-victims/comment-page-1/#comment-1028 Kelly Fri, 23 Feb 2007 04:54:37 +0000 http://tripleventi.com/2007/02/22/little-victims/#comment-1028 Yea it sucks when parents use their kids against their spouse and/or the rest of the family. No good comes of it and all it does is end up hurting the ppl involved. Yea it sucks when parents use their kids against their spouse and/or the rest of the family. No good comes of it and all it does is end up hurting the ppl involved.

]]> By: Mitch McDad http://tripleventi.com/2007/02/22/little-victims/comment-page-1/#comment-1023 Mitch McDad Thu, 22 Feb 2007 16:18:03 +0000 http://tripleventi.com/2007/02/22/little-victims/#comment-1023 Very cliche...but it's always the kids that suffer. I really hope things get better somehow. Good luck. Very cliche…but it’s always the kids that suffer. I really hope things get better somehow. Good luck.

]]> By: Erin-Go-Braghless http://tripleventi.com/2007/02/22/little-victims/comment-page-1/#comment-1021 Erin-Go-Braghless Thu, 22 Feb 2007 14:35:35 +0000 http://tripleventi.com/2007/02/22/little-victims/#comment-1021 As a grown girl of a less-than-amicable divorce, I turned out okay. <i>Shut Up!</i> Okay, so I'm a little twisted...but who isn't? That said, I have a unique perspective on the whole 'collateral damage' issue. My parents went round-for-round with custody of me and my younger sister: we changed schools every year from elementary school through high school. They weren't downright nasty to each other in front of us, but even as young as I was, I could sense the tension. Eventually, my parents agreed it was best for the members of our 'former' family to be together for holidays. Guess what? We're STILL doing it that way! There is always hope. My heart goes out to your niece, Latte Girl and you. Not a fun place to be, I'm certain. As a grown girl of a less-than-amicable divorce, I turned out okay. Shut Up! Okay, so I’m a little twisted…but who isn’t?
That said, I have a unique perspective on the whole ‘collateral damage’ issue. My parents went round-for-round with custody of me and my younger sister: we changed schools every year from elementary school through high school. They weren’t downright nasty to each other in front of us, but even as young as I was, I could sense the tension. Eventually, my parents agreed it was best for the members of our ‘former’ family to be together for holidays. Guess what? We’re STILL doing it that way! There is always hope.
My heart goes out to your niece, Latte Girl and you. Not a fun place to be, I’m certain.

]]> By: Barry http://tripleventi.com/2007/02/22/little-victims/comment-page-1/#comment-1020 Barry Thu, 22 Feb 2007 14:23:34 +0000 http://tripleventi.com/2007/02/22/little-victims/#comment-1020 Word on collateral damage. It's terrible the things that can happen to kids caught in the midst of a divorce. I am confused and concerned about something, though. Is the ex-wife your wife's sister or your sister? I guess that doesn't really matter, but it seems she has a good deal of resentment toward you for taking in her ex-husband and is taking that out on her daughter by not allowing her to play with your daughter. The longer that situation goes unaddressed and unresolved, the wider the rift with grow between your two families until eventually it will affect the little girls as well. I would advise doing what you can to work out those differences, to assure her (truthfully, I assume) that you will not allow the ex-husband back to your house and back in contact with his daughter. One thought I just had - is there an abduction risk? Maybe she just doesn't want to let this little girl out of her sight for that long, and either doesn't want to admit it to you out of fear or embarrassment, or just doesn't even realize she's doing it. I have some friends in a similar situation - the husband left the family, made some bad mistakes, but is now trying to get a leg back up in the world. He's being helped by some individuals in our church and hopefully will become a productive member of society again. I hope your ex-BIL gets some assistance and well and turns his own life back around. For his sake and his daughter's.... Word on collateral damage. It’s terrible the things that can happen to kids caught in the midst of a divorce.

I am confused and concerned about something, though. Is the ex-wife your wife’s sister or your sister? I guess that doesn’t really matter, but it seems she has a good deal of resentment toward you for taking in her ex-husband and is taking that out on her daughter by not allowing her to play with your daughter. The longer that situation goes unaddressed and unresolved, the wider the rift with grow between your two families until eventually it will affect the little girls as well.

I would advise doing what you can to work out those differences, to assure her (truthfully, I assume) that you will not allow the ex-husband back to your house and back in contact with his daughter.

One thought I just had – is there an abduction risk? Maybe she just doesn’t want to let this little girl out of her sight for that long, and either doesn’t want to admit it to you out of fear or embarrassment, or just doesn’t even realize she’s doing it.

I have some friends in a similar situation – the husband left the family, made some bad mistakes, but is now trying to get a leg back up in the world. He’s being helped by some individuals in our church and hopefully will become a productive member of society again. I hope your ex-BIL gets some assistance and well and turns his own life back around. For his sake and his daughter’s….

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