Lightening up a little
I have a bit somber lately, so I thought for a change, heading into the weekend I would lighten up a little and share something a friend sent to me, which gives me some solace and reminds me why I should be happy that:
I don’t have a boy.
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh”, it’s already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR’s do not eject “PB & J” sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Comments
5 Responses to “Lightening up a little”
Got something to say?
-
Sponsors
Lol!! Thank God I didn’t get another boy….
About your post yesterday about the terrorist stuff. I totally agree with you. It’s a just a propaganda tool to keep stupid people scared. It’s completely useless and I think the whole Homeland Security is a joke. People are just as safe now as before and their only job seems to be to scare the public.
The only way to avoid, or limit, terrorist attacks is to change the directions and become a more intelligent and friendly nation. Anyone can blow up a train in rush hour, buses, hotels, malls, kindergartens,bars, etc. whenever tehy want to and it will happen. There is no protection against that. In the long run a country must get along with others and not alienate them too much. It’s very difficult to do goo things and avoid attacks when 90% of the world absolutely hates the U.S. That inlcudes not only middle eastern countries but pretty much all of Europe, Asia, and South America. Probably Africa as well. I like to think of it this way. If two of my friends think I’m an egoistic, cocky, cheating, unfair, power hungry asshole they might be wrong. But if 99% of my friends think so there might be something to it. That’s where U.S is now. Not becuse of the people, who are awesome, it’s teh government policies that haved messed everyhting up.
Just look at how different things were ten years, or just after 9/11. Many dislike the U.S but there was also tremendous admiration for the country. And many adored the nation. Compare that too now….
Sorry about my rant. I’ve lived half my life in US and love the country. I think it’s a shame what’s happening now. It’s like an alcoholic who need to understand there is a problem and go on the famous 12-step program.
Take care
AD
I’ve read this before, and I am not kidding when I tell you that I have three boys in floral prints. My father used to tell people that I was the son he’d always hoped for, in pastels. Between me and my husband, our daughters got two doses of redheaded spirit, defiance, creativity, and also freckles.
I will have to create a list of my own, using my daughters as inspiration.
you know what’s funny? I was given a boy for a reason…because even before I read that last line I was thinking on asking Daddy if we had brake fluid at home so I could try that concoction!!!
Very funny! Thanks for the distraction!
Hmmm with 3 boys and my husband, I think I have witnessed these first hand!!!
you know, I think I do have both brake fluid and bleach. Does it have to be Clorox?